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Well this 100% pre-adopter thinks that that 50% woman 50%”dark cloud over the bright hope that is adoption” must be the one who is Satan’s helper. I would like to wash her mouth out with soap. Thanks for the adoption statistics link, I needed that a few days ago.
I linked in to this entry from a comment you left on another blod.
Several months ago, I wrote a blog entry about Lori Carangelo, President of Americans for Open Records. I pointed out then that she wasn’t for anything, she was against adoption. I am pretty sure Mirah Riben’s got her stats from Lori’s website.
What I found surprising is that Ms. Carangelo uses research on the “adopted child syndrome” to support her claims of adoptees mental health issues. The research she quotes is out of date… 1953 to be exact. Twenty years later, the University of Washington observed a pattern of birth defects in unrelated children. The common denominator for all these kids was maternal alcoholism. Funny, no where on her site does Ms. Carangelo address the issue of FAS and how that diagnosis provides an adequate explanation for the mental health issues, problems with police and disrupted school experiences that whe blames on adoption. Nor does she discuss the percentage of alcohol affected children who are available for adoption because of neglect related to addiction.
ARGH… one of my hot button topics!
It’s amazing how regurgitated pap keeps coming up, isn’t it?
Thanks for the link.
This is just a suggestion but, if you take issue with anything in Mirah’s book, you might want to do some research before trashing it out of hand. There is an extensive bibliography at the end of Mirah’s first book, which I am currently reading, and while I have her second one at home, I have not read it as yet. However, the facts that she quotes may or may not have come from Lori Carangelo’s website. There are numerous sources all over the internet and in bookstores that substantiate every quote.
You can check out Adoptive Mother, Barbara Raymond’s book about Georgia Tann, The Baby Thief for general information about the history of adoption and sealed records, or you can also check out David Kirschner’s book, Adoption; Uncharted Waters. Kirschner who is not connected to adoption in any way other than as treating them, states an even higher figure for adoptees who commit parricide, fifteen times as high as the non adoptee.
You might do well to do a little more research, and for a beginning you can start with the “Notes” section in Mirah’s first book, where she addresses many of the items that you took issue with in your piece. Her list of references alone is worth the price of the book and is a valuable resource on issues related to failed adoption, infertility issues, adult adoptees and their issues and many of the other items to which you took exception.
Sandy Young
OriginsUSA.org
I wouldn’t bother to ‘take issue with anything in Mirah’s book’. It was a poorly written, agenda-ladened article I picked apart. As I suggested here often crap is just crap.
Just FYI, I’ve read some of the work you mention. Suffice it to say that Mirah Riben is no Barbara Raymond.
Wow. It is clear that “The Stork Market” has hit a nerve and pushed a lot of your adoptive mother insecurity buttons.
It’s a real shame that you – and your like-minded readers – have publicly revealed yourselves to be so nasty and not exactly the sort of people a prospective birthmother would choose to parent her child. That’s probably all for the best though, so keep it up. You’re doing a great job of encouraging women who might be considering adoption to think again.
I sincerely hope that you do not and will not trash your children’s natural mothers in the same manner that you have trashed Mirah Riben. I hope, too, that you may come to a point of not being so very threatened by birthmothers and by the truth of current adoption practice.
Lynne Roberts, adoptee
You’re crackin’ me up, Lynne! Thanks for the laugh.
By the way, just FYI, it’s considered bad form to refer to an expectant woman as a “prospective birth mother”. Very coercive, underhanded and demeaning. You might want to try educating yourself so you don’t offend people.
“Maternal envy teaches daughters to be passive, fearful, conformist, obedient as well as similarly cruel to other women.” Women view one another as “rivals and potential replacements” and they often betray, hurt, and humiliate one another. Phyllis Chesler, Women’s Inhumanity to Women
Klassyfide,
So, that’s why Riben feels compelled to name-call and write such nasty things about adoptive mothers! Or, at least one reason.
Thanks.
[...] came about as a direct result of the slur campaign Mirah Riben and cohorts conducted in reaction to my post shredding a piece of trash she tried to pass off as ‘information’ that started out here, then was moved … by [...]
I find it curious that the few folks who trash AmFOR.net’s web pages, particularly the page at AbolishAdoption.com, are so adept at “reading between the lines” as to the author’s intent ,yet so poor sighted (or is it short sighted?) that they overlook what is actually written. AmFOR’s Abolish Adoption page, ( in plain English and terminology that “even a Caveman can understand” (-: ) that we favor expressions of legal custody that respect the best interests of the child….and goes on to provide a comparison of Adoption to Legal Child Guardianship.
My favorite pro-adoption comments include: “If there was no adoption, what would happen to children who are abandoned or abused?’ and “Just because those people have bad adoption experiences, why spoil it for people who could not otherwise have children of their own?” and “Non-adopted children get sexually, physically and emotionally abused too, so why pick on adoption?” (… perhaps because decades of parents were pressured to voluntarily relinquish their children to assure them a “better” life?)
On the same site is AmFOR’s “Alternatives to Adoption” and AmFOR’s much copied “Statistics of Adoption” page (citing sourses for every stat) in further support our statements. Although all of AmFOR’s hundreds of pages are copyrighted, the author has given permission to quote any material on the site, on condition that AmFOR, and any original source noted, is also cited. Many simply cut and paste whole pages and make them their own, perhaps because they agree with the wording but are afraid of appearing “anti-adoption” by acknowledging the source. To those who observed common courtesy, thank you.
The “Adopted Child Syndrome Page” details how and why “old” theory is now “newly endorsed” by “experts” who previously turned a blind eye to even their own data when it was “politically incorrect” to suggest that the myths and lies inherent in adoption may not be in child’s best interests. Because several decades of adoptees, parents and adopters have come out of the closet (see also AmFOR’s “Adopters Against Adoption” page), they and their plight is no longer “invisible” and so easily ignored. Of course, there are none so blind as those who refuse to see.
Lori Carangelo
Americans For Open Records (AmFOR.net)
PS: “Praise Adoption, Sell a Child.”
[...] who are willing to expose Ms. Carangelo’s facts for what they are – pure bullshit. This from Sandra Hanks Benoiton’s blog: What I found surprising is that Ms. Carangelo uses research on the “adopted child [...]